hambuh opo

Hai
so today i learned a lot of things.

i learned on how some people are not realize that they were so fucking important for their people around them.

i learned that it is right that you will take what you give. but sometimes live is not just run that way. sometimes life brings us to the other steps we never expected before, we never thought before.

i learned that you, yourself, the only people who know what makes your heart disappointed, and also yourself, the only people who can keep your heart away from the disappointment. am i right? yes im right i guess. sometimes when you got disappointment from people around you or from the things around you, in your deepest heart, you actually know it from the start, that it will end up with the disappointment. but you keep tryin tryin and tryin padahal deep inside you know that it wouldnt work lol. yah, that s life.

Living the Life

So today I've been in the very very bad mood. I don't know why but it feels like everything around me is annoying.

Trying to look the mood booster.
Eat. Sleep. Shop. Whatever u name it.
Didn't help at all. I'm still in the worst mood.

But just few moment ago I logged into my Instagram and found a post from an account I followed. It was a post about an old man named mbah Sarani. He is all alone in his small tiny and dirty house. He has nobody. He sells cobek if I was not mistaken, for living his life.

But poor him. He said that it s very rarely to find people who wants to buy his stuffs because mostly people think that he s a insane one. He only eat 2 bungkus of noodles everyday because those all he can got from his money. He even forget the taste of rice because it s been long time he s not eating rice.

My tears stream down. I don't know but I always being so touchy sama hal hal seperti ini. It s like my deepest heart is screaming why they got so much sacrifices in live. What always happen is that I wanna run to them, hug them, and give all that I have to support their life. To make their life better.

I keep scrolling down to the Instagram And the more I scrolled the more tears that I can't hold.

There are so many  people with their problems in live. But they choose to smile.

I forget all the bad mood. I forget all the hatred. All that I know right now is that there are still a lot of people who can doing de bad mood thing everyday because their unfair live or because they had to sacrifices more than me. But they choose to against the bad things. They fight for this live even they are no longer young.

While me, the young lady who s sitting here and grumbling on the thing that I hate. Oh I hate being this and I hate to say this: that I am nothing compared to them.

God, thank u for open my eyes.
I'm feeling so much better now.
💕